Mother and father relationship

A woman takes her 4 year old son in for his yearly well child visit to The doctor.

The doctor asks the little boy, "Do you know your name?"

He tells her, "Yes my name is Johnny."

"And Johnny, do you know your mom's name?"

"Yes her name is Mommy," said little Johnny.

"And what is Mommy's real name?"

And little Johnny says, "it's Tammy."

"That is great," the doctor told Johnny.

Then the doctor asked, "And what is your daddy's name?"

Little johnny said, "it is daddy."

Finally the doctor asked, "And what does mommy call him?"

little Johnny looked up innocently and replied, "Asshole."

Your Last day

A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.

“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.

The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”

“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”